I still asked the names of his antibiotics...twice...I just forgot (sorry mom)...but, they must be working, because his fever didn't come back today. Tonight, we got moved to an isolation room...you'd think that Isaac would have gone to sleep when put in a dark, quiet room...but, NO...He was being a cranky bug and crying, so we gave him versed. Nothing. So, he's still crying...so, we gave him morphine. Nothing. That little guy is still awake watching Yo Gabba Gabba! Julie (our night nurse) actually knew what this cartoon was...Sorry sweet Julie!!! I hope he falls asleep soon. He's still really congested...but, Connie's been giving him suction and breathing treatments. So...she'll get that gunk out!!
It is the time for Thanksgiving...
It's been a REALLY LONG week. I've been alone with Isaac since Tuesday night, my back misses my "sleep number"bed, my baby has his tube back in his mouth, I miss my boys...I'm a wreck. I'm sorry about my venting and ranting. I LOVE Stanford, I LOVE ALL OF OUR NURSES, I am thankful for all the series of events that have led to this moment.
Two months ago I was able to see the ultrasound tech from the OB doctors that found Isaac's heart defect. And I just came up to her and hugged her..and started crying. I told her that because of her...our baby was born at the right hospital and was led to the great surgeon and great hospital that would ultimately fixed his heart. That made her cry...we were both blubbering gals! I'm so thankful for all the heart mamas that we have met and all the guidance and friendship that they've provided. I am thankful for Dr. Acherman and the reassurance that he gave us at every ultrasound of Isaac's heart while we were pregnant. (He kept us sane--well, as sane as we get). I'm thankful for our OB doc that delivered Isaac...even though he made me have contractions for WEEKS...I'm still glad that Dr. Schwartz was there for the happy delivery day! As much as I can't stand the nissen-fundoplication...I am thankful for the g-tube and the chub that it has put on Isaac. I tear up every time I think about all the surgeries that Isaac has had, all the time we've spent in hospitals and doctors offices...and what a happy baby he is. Although, I certainly am not thankful for his defects and the struggles....but, I am thankful for all the people we've met that have made his life easier...and I am thankful for the kind of parents that Joe and I have turned into because of this defect. I would never been able to imagine how this life would feel and it's hard to explain to people the world we live in and the impact these baby dolls have on our lives. I never intentionally want to sound negative or unappreciative of anything or anyone...but, sometimes the stresses of MY everyday life can turn me into a little bit of a pessimist. I'm sorry If I rant and complain too much on this blog. This is Isaac's journal and my way to remember the times we share...the good and the bad. So...with a thankful heart...for all the people that help me keep my baby happy and healthy...no more stinky rants. If I have a bad day..I'll whine and whine to Joe. I'll keep Isaac's blog as happy and funny as I possibly can.
With that said...I need to call and check on my little guy...boy..I hope that he fell asleep!
Friday, November 16, 2007
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7 comments:
Oh Kathy...
that makes me feel like crying.
I can relate to so much of what you just said.
I most certainly NEVER EVER read grumpiness or rudeness in ANY your posts... in fact... you have such a funny sense of humor... we all know that.
As I would read your "venting" posts, I could hear them all in my head as you being your sweet, southern accent self. I know that you never meant anything bad. That is not like you.
I personally thought your little rants were kind of funny... b/c I know how sweet and kind you are.
Girl, you have to have a place that you can let it out and talk about what you're feeling ... and you know you are amongst friends and family on Isaac's blog.
All of us heart families know more than anyone else HOW HARD/STRESSFUL/EMOTIONAL/GUT WRENCHING
it is to have a medically fragile baby ... we are stressed to the max. On top of that, it is awful to be stuck in the hospitals.
IT'S HARD TO WATCH YOUR BABY BE POKED AND PRODDED W/ WIRES AND TUBES ALL OVER THEIR TINY LITTLE BODIES.
You can always call and vent to me ... ANYTIME... you know we've been there and we understand....
and re: the very few unpleasant experiences you've had ... it is totally normal...
You are being your baby's advocate ...
you are his voice and it is normal for you to watch over him.
No one loves him and cares about him more than YOU AND JOE.
OH..
there's never ever been a doubt that you
LOVE LOVE LOVE STANFORD ...
THE DOCTORS, NURSES AND RESPIRATORY THERAPISTS.
Bar none, there is no place like it.
and...
I have to say..
I love your litte rants on Joe...
you know.. how he gits on yer nerves....
those bust me up..
I hope you keep those coming...
hee hee...
You guys sound so much like me and Mike!!
Hey Kat,
Today will be a GREAT day! ! !
The last time you were in the hospital and they took the vent out, you had to make him mad to get him breathing. Remember that??
Wake that boy up, he will pull it out for them!
Hang in there Kathy...I have never heard a bit of pessimism with your posts...there are blogs I have had to stop reading because of the negativity, but you are tremendous. This is a life that none of us asked for and that our babies should not have to endure, but at least they have parents that love and protect them. You are an amazing mom and please, please, please...get your feelings out...I personally do not ever feel that you are Debbie Downer.
Lots of love!
Samantha
You are NOT pessimistic at all! Oh goodness, if anything you are very positive and I admire you for it. These blogs are important outlets for us parents. Without ours, I may have lost my sanity during Elijah's surgery.
PLEASE continue to let everything out here. It is safe and you aren't doing anything wrong.
You can't always be happy and funny, especially during this time. If you were, there would be something wrong with you!
Wish I could give you a giant hug in person...
You are so strong and such a great mother to him, every mother is allowed to express how they feel and do whatever they need to do that is the best for their children and themselves. I admire your strength so much. So many prayers and love surround you right now. Let us know if there is anything we can do. Love the Bunkers
Okay, I guess I'll say nice things also!! :)
You know I love ya!!
Just tell them if they don't want to read it then you will just express your opinions out loud at the hospital!! That will teach them.
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